i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Randomize
