sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
