Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Randomize
