Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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