We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
