Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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