$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Randomize
