his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Randomize
