My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Randomize
