Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Randomize
