Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
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