you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
