It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
