Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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