I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
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