Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
its not stalking. its research.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
