if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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