dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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