Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
