Sry I called you an 8
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
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