Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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