Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
