Well douche your snatch and let's go!
no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Randomize
