Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Randomize