apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
