this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Rumble strips road head = magical
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
