It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
