Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
