people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
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