so explain again why im purple
no
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Randomize
