Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
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