is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
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