Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
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