Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize
