Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
