I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
