so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Randomize
