The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Randomize