So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
