come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Randomize