I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
