I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
