omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize
