so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
