I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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