In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
Randomize
