I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Randomize