I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
