Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
