talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Be still, my beating vagina.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
