Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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