In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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