i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
His nipple licking is glorious
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