if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
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