Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
He better not be in your backpack
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Randomize
