I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
