I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
