I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
I have post one night stand depression
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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