We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
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