Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Alive.
So much puke
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Randomize
