I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
