i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Randomize
