i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
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