i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Randomize