we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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