I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
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