I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
